hi. I feel a bit stupid bothering about KP but, im feeling very really sad right now... I dont know why i have just started crying because i scrubed and went out of the whower and it looked so bad,so awfull, i just asked myself why on earth do i have to have this.Why cant i have (we have) just a normal skin and be free to mind our business. But it is like i spend so much time and effort into looking for an answer that i get anxiety because i also have a life, a boyfriend, friends... and i have to pretend that im fine because i dont have other problems, and i thank god every day for it. I know im a very very very lucky person i have all i have. But it feels like there is allways THIS like a little voice in the back of my mind holding me back from being totally happy. I look at my face and i think "im pretty" but then i look at my arms/legs/back and i feel soo disgusted at myself...but i dont have time for this, i cant stop. I have to go to work and do laundry and help my take care of my family and friends,allways taking care of people. I cant talk about this.I feel too embarrased. I feel so ugly.I was going to go to a friends concert but i dont want to go out now. I rather stay home and pity my self for a while..(nice). I now there are much wors things in the world that can happen to people but this is what happens to me. And sometimes i feel like it is some kind of karma from a previous life or something. I want chocolate, but then i think that if i eat chocolate i might make it worst so i might eat it, but then i will feel guilty. Im not free. I live in a cage.
Im sorry about this. Just needed to share it. I will keep trying and i will keep smiling even if i dont feel like it. Ill be fine.

Hi Ayla,

I remember answering your post, but now I don't see it here, so I guess it got lost somewhere. I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like no one cared when you were feeling down.

I hope you are feeling better and able to see all that you have for which to be thankful.

Perhaps there is no such thing as a perfect life. We each have our own challenges, and for some of us, it is KP. I want chocolate, too. But I can't remember the last time I had any. However, I have almost reached the point where I have no KP, so the denial of chocolate and a list of other foods is worth it.

You are free because you are free to choose your own cage. Mine doesn't have any bread, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, brown rice, granola, bran muffins, chocolate, tortillas, beans, and many other things. But it is my cage that I chose. Actually, I don't think of it as a cage, but rather a lifestyle choice I made for better health.

I don't mean to be preaching to you, and I hope it doesn't sound like that. Rather, I want to encourage you to make your own choices for clearer skin and overall health.

kebod

Hey Ayla..I have the same..when I look in the mirror with clothes on I see a pretty girl..But I know what's underneath those clothes (ugly skin) and I don't want to talk about it with friends because I dont want them to know about it..And there are so many worse things thats true...but you know what (keep this in mind)..there is always something worse..when you lose one leg..it's worse to lose both..

Anyway...have you tried treating your kp?? I'm doing Microdermabrasion with alumnium oxide christals (I scrub with those christals) it will make your skin very soft if you do it correct and evry morning for some weeks/months..This will take care of most of your bumps but ythere will still be redness..when your skin is almost free of all bumps you may start using an AHA product every day and in a couple of months this will get rid of the redness (I haven't come to this part yet but I hope so) than when your skin is clear you'll have to maintain it.....I've tried sbt juice and oilpulling for a month but I guess my kp was to severe..it's not that bad but these treatments were to mild I gues..and supplements and drinking loads of water is always good but why not eat chocolate? especially dark chocolate is healthy

hope this is any help

Regina

Yea, I guess most of us who have KP thought the same way. Why do this happen to me, I just want an ordinary life like any other girl. Is it too much to ask?

But reading what regina write make me feel a little relieve though, at least I still have my hand, 'though it's cover with kp. I guess it's so much better then loosing my hand, right.
N it's also a relieve that I found this forum where I can share my problem en sadness related to KP coz just like you, I don't have the guts to tell my friend about the disease.

I'm new here, not new in having the disease, but new in discovering it. So I haven't try anything at all, just some lotion that the doctor prescribe me. I just wish we all here could get rid of these bump from our body somehow. En can be happy again.

That's very normal. Anyone would be upset. Sooner or later somebody will find a "real" solution to this illness. I am very sure my life would be much more better without KP, but you know, it's life. Nothing is perfect in this world. Hiding your skin from others, being jealous of others' smooth skins..Nobody could understand you better than us.