hi. I feel a bit stupid bothering about KP but, im feeling very really sad right now... I dont know why i have just started crying because i scrubed and went out of the whower and it looked so bad,so awfull, i just asked myself why on earth do i have to have this.Why cant i have (we have) just a normal skin and be free to mind our business. But it is like i spend so much time and effort into looking for an answer that i get anxiety because i also have a life, a boyfriend, friends... and i have to pretend that im fine because i dont have other problems, and i thank god every day for it. I know im a very very very lucky person i have all i have. But it feels like there is allways THIS like a little voice in the back of my mind holding me back from being totally happy. I look at my face and i think "im pretty" but then i look at my arms/legs/back and i feel soo disgusted at myself...but i dont have time for this, i cant stop. I have to go to work and do laundry and help my take care of my family and friends,allways taking care of people. I cant talk about this.I feel too embarrased. I feel so ugly.I was going to go to a friends concert but i dont want to go out now. I rather stay home and pity my self for a while..(nice). I now there are much wors things in the world that can happen to people but this is what happens to me. And sometimes i feel like it is some kind of karma from a previous life or something. I want chocolate, but then i think that if i eat chocolate i might make it worst so i might eat it, but then i will feel guilty. Im not free. I live in a cage.
Im sorry about this. Just needed to share it. I will keep trying and i will keep smiling even if i dont feel like it. Ill be fine.

Ayla,

I hope your sad feelings have passed. We all have our own trials and down days.

For most, depression like this is temporary and you will soon be able to see your KP in its proper perspective -- an unsightly skin condition that does not alter one bit the great person you are. If depression lasts long-term, you should talk to someone -- a professional, or trusted friend or family member -- who is a good listener and will supports you.

Personally, I don't think KP, or any physical condition, is karma. Everybody has something they don't like about their bodies, and this is what we have.

Please post again to tell me that you are feeling better. If you are still down, I want to hear from you. We are here for you and understand your feelings because many of us have experienced them. We are all sending good, strong thoughts of support to you.

kebod

I forgot to give you a hug!

thank ou Kebod. It seems you are allways around to cheer people! Hug for u too
My boyfriend force me to eat chocolate lol and we are going to a fancy park. He knows adrenaline cures me better than anything!(Will be doing parachuting soon,by the way!!!) And my cats have sitted by my side and look at me with love...if you can, get a pet! It can be really surprising. Im a very lucky person. I have love all around and now i feel silly for complaining.
No more sugar scrub for me tho. It is to hars for my skin and i knew already, but i though i might just give it a try again to see. I did put some olive/castor oil and washed and my skin calmed down totally. First time i use castor oil, by the way. I think it might be it because olive allways calms down my skin but leaves redness and this time that is also gone.
This place is so good. If i ever cure this i will keep around helping others.
Thank u.

No, don't feel silly for complaining. We all have days like that, and we all need someone to listen.
I know what you mean about loving pets. I have 3 cats and 1 dog. Anytime you feel sad, go find a cat to hold and pet -- instant therapy.

kebod

Hi Ayla - Hope you're doing better - chocolate and all!
I understand so much of what you say. but if I can just get my brain buzzing on something (ideas, projects, research, whatever), I can usually distract myself.
Scrubbing used to be so hard on my skin too. I can do iit every few days now but I never could do it years ago. It really cheeses me when people on these boards are like "just use the microdermabrasion this or the scrub that and then the AHAs" and they swear it'll work for everyone. not all of us have skin that can take that kind of roughness!

anwyay, thanks for giving me a chance to do a little rant and of course, I really hope you're feeling better. believe me, I know how it goes...
- BD

i think what we have to remember if we let this get us down it will big style but we should just get on with life, it has took a very long time to be able to say this and many will not agree, it makes me sad that this thing affects so many peoples lives and we are lucky their are people far worse off than us.

you probably all hate me for typing this, but it saddens me more to set it ruling so many peoples lives.

Don't feel embarrased to talk about this because we are here to listen to you, ALWAYS. This is why we don't like to call this website a forum, we call it a community. Community members help one another. Today, was your day of feeling sad, stressed and you exploded...Tomorrow, another member will need some advice and me, you and every other member will be there for them. Not everyone has such a nice boyfriend as you do! He's special...I want chocolate too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so proud of you, you are a jewel. You take care of your family and people. That's more beautiful than anything in the world and you know it.

Where's mine?

Great!! Tell us how it went...
You know, I was going to tell you to practice some sport or some yoga (maybe listen to soft music or water sound). Stress makes your KP even worst!

Take care Ayla!

Thank you all, Im feeling much better!!
And i had a great time at the amusement park lol. This kind of things happen to me sometimes even tho im a very positive person, but cant help it!!
By the way im doing pretty well with oils and salicylic acid/sulphur soap although i think im peeling a bit. Any experience with this mix and peelin??
Hugs to all of you

Hi Ayla - the salicylic acid could easily cause some peeling. it's a common chemical exfoliator used by people, KPers and non-KPers alike. As long as it's just a bit and your skin isn't getting reddened, burned or showing signs of greater irritation, it may be ok. I also have sensitive skin, tho it has become less so over the past year as I have learned to manage my inflammation levels in my body. But I have used salicylic acid products and mild glycolic acid products over the years even during very sensitive times. the salicylic acid actually has some anti-inflammatory effect which can be beneficial to KP and sensitive skin of course. Use good sunscreen or keep covered up (or both) in the sun too since you're using such a product. - bd

Salicylic is sooooo god!! I have to say im getting complitely clear patches!!!! And the red dots are no longer red,not in any place. They are more kinda light brown,like freckles. Nice nice.
Now, my skin is quite dry still but i have read that for dry skin you have to mix 10% castor oil with base oil (olive in my case), 20% if you have mix skin and 30% for oily. I have done a lot of research and it seems that castor oil is used for a lot of skin conditions in diferent ways. Even for muscular cramps when heated. Interesting.
Apart from the change in the red dots, i might have 3 or 4 bumps in total (including arms, legs and back). I atribute that to sulphur and salicylic acid mix. I think oils are speeding the regeneration of the skin and helping with fading scars. So im happy in general!
And yup Bunnyday, im going to use a lot of sunscreen as im going to the beach soon. I think sun and sea water will make the peak!
Will keep updating.
Hugs.