I've read the messages on this site and it makes me so sad to read how everyone hides their KP and has to be so embarrassed about it. Believe me, I'm the same way. I have the hardest time becoming intimate with someone because I am so reluctant for anyone to touch me. I think it's harder for women because we are expected to have soft, flawless skin. Everytime I open a magazine all I can focus on is how beautiful everyone's skin is (and knowing that they are probably airbrushed doesn't make me feel any better). So my question to all the ladies on this site is -- knowing that there isn't a cure around the corner and all we can probably do is make it a little better with soaps and lotions -- how do you become okay with it? How do you just accept it and what do you say when you start dating someone? I'd love to hear positive stories about people who have boyfriends/spouses who don't care at all. I'm tired of KP making me feel so bad about myself.

This is a good question!

Becoming ok with it has taken me years. Overall, I have a light case of kp. But, when I was a teen and this first started up, this was very upsetting to have, mainly because I was the only one I knew who had these spots and I hated them-the site of them. My mother did not take me to a doctor/derm for this. Even though compared to some people I haven't had a big problem with this, when it came to summer clothes, bathing suits, and dating, I didn't want anyone to see my arms. But, I just went out and did it anyway, and on occasion, people asked me questions, but not very often, about what those spots were on my arms. I grinned and beared it, and envied anyone with perfectly smooth skin on their arms. My answer then, I don't know what it is. I wore what I wanted to but was always self conscious about my arms.

As I have grown older (closer to 40 now) and gone through a couple of bad times such as after having my children (my kp acted up terribly), and recently I have noticed a few more spots popping up......I guess its the same. I am more accepting now, probably because of age. Its something I have and its not affecting my health, and also I don't worry about appearances, my own, as I did when I was a teen or in my 20's.

I think whats bothered me the most is that my daughter Mol has this and she has had it more terrible than me. She has had more questions asked because her kp has been much worse than mine ever has been. She's told me about it, she hates it. Like me, she just goes out there and does stuff, and I know sometimes it bothers her if people ask questions or say gross, you have zits on your arms, but mostly it doesn't. She wears tank tops and whatever else, goes swimming like everyone else. She has not started dating yet so I do wonder how she will be when this time comes. More self conscious or go with the flow, as is now? We shall see.

I just found this forum tonite after looking on the WebMD message boards for a different subject, and decided to take a look at this post on Keratosis Pilaris. What a shock to realize it's an actual medial condition, with a name and it's own section on the American Academy of Dermatology page. My mom never took me to the dermatologist, either. I've had this condition since I was a kid (28 now) and always considered it just a rash I inherited from my dad. It's mainly concentrated on my arms now, but used to clearly affect my face as well until mid-high school. My cheeks flare up now and again, but very rarely and it's no longer noticeable unless there is a flare up, and it gets red and itchy. Now I'd have to say mine is a light case, as well. I'd always hated the very obvious red rash on my face, and was incredibly sensitive about anyone noticing my arms because someone always asked questions (and they still do). My arms used to be very red, but then that's partly because I was always messing with them; picking and pulling at the skin (sorry!), like at pimples. Yuck. It's just been in the last 5 years that I've decided to leave them alone. I'm trying to get my twin to do the same, but it seems to be compulsive with her. I've been increasingly comfortable with the KP since I was 16, thanks to my then boyfriend (who may become a repeat ). For some reason I still haven't figured out, he used to rub his palms or the backs of his hands up and down my arms, something he still does when we're together. Like a casual arm around your shoulder; he just rubs my arms instead. It used to freak me out at first, because I wasn't comfortable with it, so how could he be? In one of the most important stages of my teenage life, I wouldn't wear a lot of the new cute shirts, hit a pool party (major social spot!), because my arms would show. But if a guy could be okay with the KP, why couldn't I? It was like holding my favorite stuffed animal; whenever I wore a sleeveless shirt and felt self-conscious, I would think to myself, he likes them, so they can't be that bad. So I slowly became more comfortable with the condition. And as I got older I guess I decided the bumps were just a part of me and here to stay, so why make myself miserable by continuing to stress over them? I've finally accepted it for myself, not because of a guy, which is always important; but he started the process. Now I'm at the point where I don't think consciously about the KP anymore except to take better care of it so my skin stays soft instead of rough and scaly. I actually use a Noxema-type cream on my arms, the Johnson & Johnson Clean and Clear Deep Cleansing Cream, however only once or twice a month. But I don't leave it on for long since the skin tends to be sensitive, as we all know. I just massage it in really well for a few seconds in the shower and rinse thoroughly, then make sure I moisturize well afterwards. I also try to use a loofah once every two weeks.
In regards to being intimate.... I haven't, and am occasionally a little worried about it as my rear is affected as well. Which tends to be a major deterrent for me. I use the cleansing cream there, too, by the way . My apologies for the extra info, but I figure my twin and I are sure not the only ones! It's much better than it was, though, like my arms. And my sister says to post that in regards to intimacy, she's never had a guy have an issue with it, and if she's ever had a question, she's just said it's a condition inherited from our dad. Which it is. No one's ever been put off by it, she says. And I've never had anyone be put off by the KP, either. If they were, , too bad so sad and they're not the only date in the world? That's how I feel, anyway. I hope this helps, and our positivity rubs off on you.

It made me really sad to see so many women so embarrassed by this condition. I have it pretty severely on my arms and back and have forever. (I'm 30 now) I'm so lucky that my husband has never even noticed it. He just loves me and it doesn't matter how many bumps I have. There are men out there like that, so if a guy freaks out about it, he isn't worth it. Don't get me wrong, I'm self-conscious about it, and will continue to try to make it better. But in the meantime, picking at it and being ashamed just isn't an option. It is what it is and it doesn't make you any less of a person. Please remember that!