What's up with the I can'ts??

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Originally posted by vegas girl

I am about to go batty from all of the I can'ts on this board. You can do whatever you want to do - you choose not to. That is you holding yourself back - not the KP! I have had KP my entire life (34 yrs) and I have never once even considered not wearing an outfit because of it. My arms not only have the bumps and redness, but some pretty awful scarring as well. If someone has a problem with it, then it is their problem not mine. I have never once had anyone comment on it and when I've brought it up most people really had not noticed it the way I thought they did. I get this attitude from my amazing mother who died 4 years ago at age 52 from cancer. Even bald, frail, and broken from chemo and a bone marrow transplant, she held her head high. She didn't even try to cover up her baldness because she said "why do I have to be uncomfortable just to conform to some physical norm imposed by strangers who I don't even know or care about? The people who love me will love me no matter what and everyone else doesn't matter anyway!" I know it is easier said than done, but we all can learn a lesson here. If you are going to live your life and make your decisions based on your perception of the thoughts and opinions of strangers, you might as well give up now. Be proactive in fixing the things about yourself that YOU feel need improvement, but self esteem comes from facing the world with all your flaws showing and saying "what you see is what you get- deal with it". Clear skin alone will not buy you that kind of confidence. You are all perfect in your own skin - start believing it and the world will too.

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Originally posted by donky

well.. sometimes, it's very very very hard.... when you are still a teenager.......

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Originally posted by kim r

great post vegas girl! i completely agree with you. it is 73 degrees outside and gorgeous- i spent all day outside with my son and my friend and her 2 kids and I am wearing a tank top and shorts. do you think i would cover up in this gorgeous sunshine b/c some ignorant or unknowing person may look at me and wonder what is on my arms. I have so many teeny tiny bumps and discoloration from scars and the usual kp redness (which looks brown b/c i am in the sun a lot) on my arms and my legs last night decided to flare up (pms related?). If someone wants to look, by all means, go right on ahead. If more non-kp people saw all of us bare armed, etc., it would become less and less a big deal. Kp is cripling mentally and that is something no cream or laser will take care of. Your good hearts and spirits have to overcome your obstacles. Let people wonder or stare- who cares. If they ask and you educate one more person then good for you. That is probably one less person who will stare the next time another kp'er walks by bare armed.
Those of you who are younger than I am, let me tell you that there is more in life the older you get than the kp obstacle you face now. Youdo not want to look back on your life when you are elderly and wonder why you wasted so much time letting KP affect your identity as a wonderful human being. I NEVER covered up my KP - looking back at prom pictures and pictures from the trips to the river and the beach, I was always in sleeveless gowns and bikinis. I have never had a dry spell dating since I started when I was 15. I have never put a cute top or dress back on the rack b/c my KP will show. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to KP. Don't be- because you are worth more than the texture or the color of your skin. Carry yourself with confidence, don't be ashamed of your skin and disregard those who don't know any better.
I would like to see a day where everyone on this board does the same as Vegas girl. Great attitude. BTW, I was in Vegas last Monday for my husband's grandfather's funeral. You all had awesome weather! (Did you go to the Nordstrom opening??)
Cherish life, people. It is a great gift

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Originally posted by Nicky

God Bless you Vegas Girl! I needed that! Thanks.

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Originally posted by Mary

Amen, vegas girl!

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Originally posted by Terri

You are very lucky that no one has commented on your arms . . . many of us have not been so lucky. It is mortifying to have someone pull back your sleeve to get a better look, and then ask, "What's wrong with your arm?" (In front of another person, no less.) It is awkward when a nurse or physician who hasn't seen me before looks pointedly at my arm and asks, "What's this?"--when I'm not even there for that reason. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear long-sleeved tops all summer long so that people won't stare. Feeling like I can't be intimate with anyone because they will see my stomach is awful. Perhaps none of this would be a problem for you, and that's great, but please don't assume that if everyone had your perspective, KP wouldn't be so bad. I have contemplated suicide because of it, as have a few others on this site.

Terri

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Originally posted by vegas girl

I know - believe it or not, I was a teenager too, once. I can't make you feel good about yourself, only you have the power to do that. I can promise you one thing - the things that seem like life and death struggles today will seem trivial and stupid to you one day. I do not know you, but I would bet my life that your attitude is causing you more problems than the KP. I met my husband when I was 16 and the KP that I thought was hideous, he did not even notice until I pointed it out (the ugliness was in my head not my skin). We are still together 17 years later with 2 beautiful girls who both have KP. I pray they never feel about themselves the way you feel. Have you ever thought about trying to start a support group at your school or church? Teenagers often hide KP, so there may be others in your vicinity afflicted that you don't even realize. Also consider that acne and other skin problems affect teens in the same way KP affects you - maybe they could benefit from having someone with your experience to talk with. Try to find a way to make something good come of this - then at least your attitude should improve even if your skin doesn't! PS - I have 21 first cousins all afflicted with KP (several have RF) and they are all happily married with children - your time will come!

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Originally posted by vegas girl

Hi - thanks for your comments. Where do you live that you still have 73 degree weather? I think it was even down to the upper 60's here. No I missed the Nordstrom opening - we resident Las Vegans usually avoid the Strip as much as possible unless we have out of town visitors. I don't even think I've been in the last five hotels that have opened! With two daughters age 12 and 8 (both have KP BTW) who has time for a social life? If you ever make it here again, email me at bakerzoo@lvcm.com.

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Originally posted by kim r

Hi Vegas girl- I am in So Cal. Today was a little cooler but my son (who does not have KP as of yet, thank God) was outside playing with the hose all afternoon (he is 2). My husband's grandmother has lived in Vegas since the 60's, so she has seen it all! Even at 80, she still made it to the mall for the Nordy's opening and battled the masses to the shoe department (woman after my own heart). We were in Vegas 3 times over the past 3 weeks...I should have let you know! Next time I will email you, definitely. I am sorry your lil ones got stuck with KP. Hopefully by the time they are teens something better will come along as far as treatment is concerned. But I know what you mean about the 'social life? what's that?' deal when you have kids, but they are worth it- one day they will be all "Mom...leave us alone! Drop us off around the corner, okay?" :0)
Take care!

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Originally posted by vegas girl

Perhaps I am a little more thick skinned than others. Unfortunatley, that comes from having so many other bad things happen in my life that are suicide worthy that the KP becomes a minor annoyance. Given the choice, I think I'd rather have a life in which KP is the worst thing I have had to face. BTW if someone ever had the gall to ask what's wrong with my arm, I'd ask, "what's wrong with your manners?".