Relationships and KP

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Originally posted by Jenn

I was wondering if anyone with kp here are in a relationship. Im 20 so my relationship isnt too serious but I cant really think of that many excuses to tell the guy I'm dating why I dont let him touch my leg from the thigh up and why I always wear 3/4 sleeve cardigans and shirts. He would understand but It really is extremely embarrassing and I dont want him to know. Can anyone relate? How do you guys cope with the toll it takes on a relationship and self consiousness?

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Originally posted by traci

Jenn, i totally relate to what your saying. I am 24 and scared to death to let anyone see my arms,i have went out with guys and first of all its summer and i want to look nice but i have to wear 3/4 length sleeves and then i am hot and they want to know why i would wear something so warm, i hate it, i am afraid of the rejection, and how to explain it, so i do understand, i am not sure how to deal with it, so any suggestions, i know they should accept you for you, but it's easier said than done. good luck

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Originally posted by Kim R

Hey Jenn- it was only 2 1/2 years ago since i was single and dating. Let me tell you that you are your own worst critic, seriously! I wrote a while ago to someone on this board about this subject- the guy I dated before I met my husband and I were both very touchy feely affectionate kind of people. We dated for almost 6 months and then became 'just friends' (thank goodness b/c I met my husband at one of his parties after we broke up...anyway,) but during that time we were at the beach (we both lived there), rollerblading, we went golfing, and he had a pool and jacuzzi that we were always in. I was always in tank tops and bikinis. Anyway, my point is this- I did NOT know HE had KP until we were broken up and just friends. It just came up one day. This guy was HOT, he was fun and sweet and so unbelievably confident - I never knew he had KP (like me). Let people touch you- it is okay really. If they ask about it, just tell them it is something you were born with like it is no big deal. I used to tell them it is an allergic reaction to something, I just did not know what that something is.
I have had KP as long as I can remember, I think I was about 8 when it started. I started dating at 16 and dated A LOT (I never had a dry spell, knock on wood!). Throughout my dating career, my KP was NEVER an issue, and I love in So Cal, in a part where there are a lot of really superficial people. I am not trying to brag, believe me; I just want to let you know it is OK for a guy to touch your leg, your arm. The more you are okay with it, the more he will be. And if he is immature about it or a jerk, blow him off. There are worse things out there than KP. I promise!

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Originally posted by Mel

Dear Jenn, I can sympathize. When I was twenty (we aren't going to go into
how LONG ago that was) I felt the same way. Before I met my husband, I was
too embarrassed to show any man my arms, back, or anywhere else. One
day I just got tired of it and decided that I couldn't live hiding who I
was. And the fact of the matter is that Kp, for better or for worse, is
part of who we are. not long after that, I met my now husband. Our first
date wa actually a trip to a lake! I was so nervous but, if he noticed it, he never gave me that impression.
It's funny because that is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He
loved me and was attracted to me with or without kp... I think that a man
being turned off by it is a turnoff in itself... I like to tell my daughter
that as long as you love your self (no matter what) there will always be
someone else to reciprocate that love. Lots of love (and luck with the
guys!) Mel

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Originally posted by Newman

Like you, I wear long sleeves year-round, and have to suffer with the heat and people asking "why do you always wear long sleevs?" My favorite answer has been "I hate t-shirts". My doctor told me to wear loose fitting t-shirts to help my KP, but I'll never wear a t-shirt until the KP is gone! It's a never ending battle. People always tell me not to care about what others think, but it seems easier to cover the problem, then to deal with people's stares and comments.

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Originally posted by Ann

I am a bit past 24 - but can remember what it was like! In hindsight I wish I had worked harder at that age at accepting me the way I was instead of measuring myself up against what the 'ideal' woman should look like. I know it takes guts and isn't easy to actually believe we are more that just our skin but when you do it sure helps get rid of a lot of unnecessary worry about what people think of us. I have said it before and I'll say it again work on developing other parts of your life and personality - and do you really want to have a serious relationship with someone who would dump you or think less of you because you had red spots on your arms. Rise above the crowd and accept yourself for who you are. I'll finish with one of my favourate sayings 'if it is to be it is up to me!'.

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Originally posted by bb

I know it's embarrassing! If you don't make a big deal about it the person your with most likely won't either. It is hard, I have & still feel like you. I don't know where you live but one hot day visit a big city & look at some arms - you'll notice a lot of people have this & you're not the only one within a 20 mile radius to have red bumpy arms/thighs. It is a common problem & the person you're with probably has come across several people who have KP & just never noticed.

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Originally posted by Jana

I totally agree with bb!

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Originally posted by deb

I remember wearing this really short length t-shirt, and felt really self conscious about it. I decided to wear it anyways since the weather was extremely hot, and all my longer short sleeves were in the washer. I knew people were staring at me, but what more can they do but just stare. I was proud of myself that I was able to come through it all and wear the short sleeve despite the severity of my kp and all the stares that I got. I think having a positive self esteem can make matters better, and not everyone is going to be superficial about the kp.