hear me out (i'm new to the site)

hey hey. pretty much all my life i've had this stupid skin condition and i've never known anyone else that had it. i've always felt alone in that sense but i'm sorta relieved to find out that it's a lot more common than i thought. i think i started picking at a young age because of my mom... she'd be like, "o i see one that's ready to come out, lemme get it" i've been obsessed with picking and popping ever since. i've also been ridiculously self conscious of my kp because when i was in like middle school, my dad told me, "eww no boy will ever wanna touch your skin." lately i've been depressed about it because i've even been pickin at work and my arms became so red and bloody and nasty looking that i just broke down and cried, i actually feel like crying right now. i've had images in my mind of me just taking a razor and shaving off my skin, in hopes that there would be smooth skin underneath (i've never done that though). i notice too that all of my arm hairs stick straight up as if i had permanent goose bumps (even though i pretty much do), so i was wonderin if the hairs are like that because of my kp. if anyone out there really understands how i'm feelin, i would love a response because this is my first time on here and i'm in need of support :}
love, erin