Please forgive me for this candid post, but I am really trying to work out some issues for myself here...

Common stereotype assumes that men are generally more rough than women and our physical apperance and traits are assumed to be more rugged and coarse. I believe this to a certain extent, but I think KP goes overboard in this 'roughness' and results in an unattractive quality.

Please, if you will, try to put yourself in the shoes of a person who was not afflicted by KP (or if we have any women on this board who are not currently suffering from this condition that would be awesome too) what would your thoughts be if you were engaged in an intimate relationship with a man who had bad KP on his arms resulting in a very rough sensation when you felt them? Would you think this roughness is a normal trait for a man? Would you prefer the skin to be smooth or would you like how it felt? Would you judge the man on the roughness of his skin? What is your honest opinion on KP on a man? Please be very honest in your responses.

Thanks a lot for helping me clear these issues up!

I think that I wouldn't notice the texture of his skin so much as the way he treated me. I mean, (back me up here ladies) I'd rather have a prince of a man in the body of a frog than a frog of a man in the body of a prince any day of the week. If you sweep her off her feet, how's she going to feel the texture of the arms that carry her? Just MHO.

I agree, personality, character, sense of humour etc are far more important longterm than a few bumps on the arms.

I think sometimes we can so obsess about one part of our body that we forget there is much more to us than just some bumps on our arms (or elsewhere as the case may be)

You sound like a very sensitive caring person - don't let those bumps stop you from persuing relationships.

I wouldn't care, even if I didn't have KP. Women are a lot more forgiving to men, than men are to women. There is no expectation of perfection placed on a man. If he's a little rough, or has rough patches on his skin, it's usually ok. I wouldn't think of it much, heck if I were a guy, I probably wouldn't care as much about having KP.

God bless you.

i think beauty is skin deep and in order to stay with someone, they have to be really special in other ways..

that being said, if a man had rough skin, i will be honest in saying that i would be a bit turned off.
if he had KP, i'd educate him with the knowledge i've learned from this board!

let's face it, skin is a VERY important sexual organ that many of us overlook.

after suffering from KP my whole life, i've learned to have some compassion for others with bad skin (or at least i'm trying...) whether it be acne or KP or whatever else.

the problem is that this question is flawed. people are on here because THEY too have KP.

To get an honest answer, you'd have to post this question in a nonKP forum

most women wouldn't notice it or care. just make sure you smell good (clean, no cologne necessary). that's important.

I wouldnt care if my boyfriend had kp at all. i mean he gets a razor rash now and then and he got a bit of backne and a few stretch marks from muscle growth but it doesnt bother me in the least. Cause when i see him im happy to see him as the person he is and not how he looks. Cause from the moment we get together he makes me laugh and really makes me feel beautiful even when im down and sick.

Great example....My ex fiance is very good looking that had a very polished look.Always looking good... Our relationship ended because after the engagement ring went on my finger i became his propery. Although i got kp on my legs ( no bumps only red and brown dots , so my skin is very smooth) i always found it easy to get guys or always had guys interested in me so he became very possesive.he began calling me ugly names,swear at me take my cellphone away look through my bags.. I was always crying and hurting.....But when other people were around his pretense would come up.And would act like such a darling while keeping a close eye on me ofcourse so that i dont drift to much out of his sight.

To cut a long story short a couple of months after we broke up i met my current boyfriend who might not be regarded to society as good looking as my ex.He makes me happy. Hes so genuine and so caring ...My ex has been trying to get back with me but i wouldnt trade my current beau ..Not for the best looking man in the world
i love that he's always in jeans and takkies and , i love hes stubble and dark messy hair and cumfy look. I never felt love for anyone the way i feel for him..

So Rogs... Treat a woman with respect,love her unconditionally make her happy make her laugh and smile...Make her feel beautiful and let me tell you that it doesnt matter how bad your kp is... you will win her heart




So Rogs treat your women with respect and love them unconditionally and make them laugh and smile .... Believe me you can win her heart over...

That is so well said. Simple yet so true. I think that women truly are more forgiving of men's physical flaws than the other way around. Especially if you make her feel special. The best guy I ever dated was not particularly good-looking by conventional standards. He didn't have kp but his skin was rough. Yet for a while, he could make me laugh so hard that I could pee in my pants And he made me feel interesting, soulful, beautiful, sexy... Best lovemaking ever, honestly. Things soured when he started being too possessive for my liking. I started to think I might be setting myself up for abuse and I got scared. To this day, I don't know whether or not my response was exagerated or well-founded, because I sometimes think of him as the one who got away, considering that I've had bad luck in relationships after him...

This thread is interesting to me. Before I started posting here again recently, I always assumed that men with kp weren't all that emotionnally affected by the disorder and that us women were the ones beating ourselves up trying to conform to some unattainable ideal of feminine beauty... I see that I was somewhat mistaken. But I still think that guys have it easier in that respect. Men are so much more visually-oriented than women, I feel...

My husband does have KP mildly on his arms and legs. I don't think twice about it, and he says he doesn't mind my more noticeable bumps (and scabs). I didn't notice his for years, only somewhat recently, and I don't think he's aware of it anyway - his body hair mostly covers it.

the question is not flawed. this is a perfect question.

i'm a guy. but let me enlighten you as i have some time to burn.

niceness is a really good thing, but don't listen entirely to women in that regard. women are much like men, and human beings as a species result to survival instincts, especially with things like "love", etc. if you want to be a girl's friend, that's easy (but trust me you'll start feeling gay after too long), but being loved by a girl is very difficult, especially if you're not as good-looking as other guys, or don't really fit in. if you can still manage a cocky attitude and confidence, more power to you, but that's mainly to add to what the girl already knows; though, on the main, girls are very persuadable creatures. (they absolutely LOVE confidence, even if it's blind and stupid - which btw is logically flawed, but whatever i'm not gonna argue).

girls are much more concerned about their looks, this is true. that is because they are still in the majority in terms of pure sexual objectivity in media and culture. that means as a guy you have some smudge room, but not much. the more you think of "love" as making a trade of goods, the better off you are. what girls are looking for in exchange for your lack of looks is $$$ and power. (power being: social status, good morals, and.. well.. CONFIDENCE! even it's just misplaced)so make sure you sport these things. material things are very important to most girls. remember, no matter what girls say, these things are true. don't let them tell you otherwise - they're trying to trick you.

but don't be concerned if your skin problems merely reside on KP. there is much worse, trust me. if that's all you're dealing with, then consider other things. facial and bodily proportions are very very important. a square jaw, even facial thirds, a defined chest, these are very attractive physical features to women. remember this isn't all there is to getting the girl. niceness is important, as it is to most guys as well, but i wouldn't say moreso than looks. the two are fairly evenly matched -- though a girl will take the hotter guy over you if he is as nice and granted that she's good enough for him. if she's not, lucky you. remember: part of making her feel beautiful is your own looks, coupled with your attitude and money.

the reason that a girl says that she'd take a "frog" with a "prince heart" over a "prince" with a "frog heart" is because she's already done the "prince looks" as many times as she could stomach (like an all-you-can-eat buffet) and been left cold. keep this in mind: this is the classic paradigm a girl will throw at you, but don't be fooled by its simplicity. (she almost indefinitely chose looks over niceness first quite a few times because it's simply more important - keep in mind that if you aren't one of them.. you are operation "back-up plan"). alas, in fear of living alone all her life and treated badly (which she loves from hot guys nonetheless even if she complains) she has decided this to not be the best avenue of "love" once she's been broken in. guys do the same thing.

my recommendation: work out, get a good job, dress in "nice" clothes (abercrombie, banana republic, gap, or any of their derivatives), and act like you could care less about the result of everything important around women (meaning you are really confident and show little emotional response to critical matters). this means you manage resources very well and can take care of them. and don't worry about humor -- humor comes really easily when you get close to "her heart" as her pretty smile, loving attention towards you, and girlish qualities will make you feel like everything, because affection, infatuation, love: there is nothing else that compares. (big sigh).

i've never had a girlfriend, but i've observed more about relationships than most people i know, because, as a guy like me, i must understand everything in order to stand a chance in (&*$. trust me, coming from me, niceness means very incredibly close to nothing if you have none of the other qualities listed. this is especially true if they haven't transitioned out of the looks stage yet, which is FIRST, so try and assess that right away about her. "niceness" is a cruel joke they play on you, because they really will just feel sry for you, and it's the worst torture imaginable.

Cycloverid

Well u ' seem ' to know alot about women even though you've never had a girlfriend.

I'll take that as a compliment. "Seeming. Seeming!"

http://www.shaksper.net/archives/2002/1938.html

You know, it's pretty bad making it sound as though money can compensate for what a man lacks in the looks dept. Yes it's true that no one really wants to be with someone who's got hair a mile long dragging out of their butt or acne that's oozing out of every pore of one's body. But money and clothing can only get a person so far. Once you reach a certain point, your so called significant other will only get bored with you if you don't have the personality to keep her awake for even a minute. But you know, there are occassions where people really are so low that all they see is the money or the clothes that you wear. Ask yourself this question, do you really even want to be with someone THAT superficial? Someone who doesn't actually love you but only loves the things around you?

As for myself, I'm a fairly simple girl. I don't really care for high maintinence guys but I don't care for guys who can't take care of themselves either. I don't care if the guy I end up spending the rest of my life with is hot or not. If he is, then goody goody. If not then whatever, because there is a reason other than looks that attracted me to him to begin with.

About five years ago when I was a freshman in college, I met this guy who not a lot of people would say is hot. He was a pretty big guy and before him I never thought that I would be attracted to a big guy. But we got to talking and I really liked him. He was genuinly friendly to me and I liked that. Too bad I was too chicken poop to get the nerve to ask him out. My co-worker who's still in his mid 20s is....for lack of better words, is follicularly challenged on his head. He's not a raging stallion. He doesn't care what people think about in regards to the way he dresses. We work in an office setting and he wears jeans and sneakers. But there's something about him that attracts me to him (unfortunately, can't make the moves cause he's a co-worker). He's absolutely funny, very friendly (good for me cause I'm shy), pretty intelligent guy for his age, and talented.

All I'm saying is that yeah, good looks are a plus. It's definately the first thing a person sees in another person in regards to attraction. But the looks are on the surface and once you get past that, there is no telling what you will find underneath. I know all that sounds contradictory since I'm here on this forum because of my kp but what can I say?? Life's a (female dog).

I don't really think you can judge all females as the same. It really just depends on the person. Some people are very judgemental to anything that they haven't encountered before, and if they are would you really want to be with someone like that. At the end of the day we all have imperfections, whether externally or internally - it's how we deal with them that shows our true character.

PS. I think this site is amazing and that we can connect with other people who are going through the same issues.