hey you guys,


just really needed a group of people that understand and can console me now. I just came back from a wedding. needless to say that like every woman there was dressed in strapless, sleeveless...and other types of "less". I have dots, i have a scar on my chest.... It's so hard for me to see this and just say oh well, i'm different. It's almost like having nice clear smooth skin is part in parcel of being a woman. I want to walk up to one of them and say don't take what you've got for granted....because they all do....they don't think twice about their skin ever! It's just like that...and they can wear what they want and feel confident and look good...and have relationships without this scary insecurity...
How can I ever feel as completely desired by someone. I feel that this makes me "damaged' or "second rate" goods.


and the world doesn't owe you, daisy, anything....

sorry...i just really needed you guys right now...

You know what. I bet you are a hot girl

Irregardless of JNallyKP's comments . . .

First of all, get your bumps under control- the red will never go away, we know that- but you can smooth the bumos with time- some people use sulfur soap, others apricot scrub combined with a buff, skin brushes, etc. There might be some areas that will never be completely smoothe, like the upper arms, but they will be smoother.
When they are smooth, this should bring some comfort because if we're talking about intimacy, usually happens in the dark, right?

Now, you're thinkin, nobody will love me with this? First of all, look at all the members on this site who are happily partnered. There are many. Second, it might just be . . . that men don't care as much as you think they do. My friend just tld me about her sister-in-law who is this beautiful woman and who has psoriasis and had it her whole life. It makes her arms and legs red and blotched. She has a loving marriage. She wears long sleeves and doesn't care.

I know- we all feel a tad ugly with this. And we make it worse by staying inide and not seeking the approval we need (as if we don't deserve it and we can't socialize with "normal" people). The best thing is to get out there. I also subscrube to the idea that we weed out the bad guys, the superficial ones who want "perfection". I dated someone and I told him about the "roughness on my arms" and he just looked at me and said, "Oh, I didn't notice." Either he was obtuse (could be . . .) or, he was focusing on different things . . .

Once, I broke down to my father about this, and he said, "Look, guys look at many things- a girl's chest, her hips. I never in my life have looked at a girl's arms. I couldn't tell you what a girls' arm looks like."

I hope this helps. If it doesn't . . . go talk to someone like a professional. They might have good coping strategies, bcause after all, people have gotten through much worse aflictions and have come out whole and fighting, so there must be ways to cope.

oh- one more thing- I once worked with a girl - tough, strong, old-school Brooklyn - and she only wore long sleeves. I thought something was up that an she told me one day that she has a condition that causes little pink dots to appear on her face, her chest, her arms and legs. She had ben dating someone for years and damn her of she wasn't the sexiest thing ever . . .

I once had a boyfriend that did not want me to get rid of the bumps, he said they were a part of me and he thought that was beautiful (we later broke up over other things). Just don't be ashamed, try as you might you will never be satisfied with results unless you are willing to admit that you are pretty as you are.

You've just got to remember Daisy that there loads of people out there that'll accept you for who you are. Don't give thought to how lucky others are for having clear skin, they'll know doubt having something else they stress over. You are how you are, and that is something to take pride in.

thank you guys sooooo much for all your support. nancyk especially. I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart and I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful support group.

thank you for caring and taking the time to make me more positive.


daze