You can't (or maybe you can) how much I understand because i have and still fight with standing in the same shoes and living through the experiences. I live in LA and so so mayn girls look young and gorgious and half naked here. I have been struggling with this for years now. Girls worry about these things and compare themselves all the time....and it's exponentially exascerbated when you think to yourself that you could never compare to any of them because you have terrible skin and aren't even pretty danity, and feminine in that regard. Beautiful flawless skin is a prerequiste you tell yourself.


BUT....the way you think and feel is your choice...and I can almost assure you that YOU DECIDE to make a great life for yourself and have meaningful relationships or to destroy your life with negative thinking.


I thought it was so simple......but LIFE, RELATIONSHIPS, AND ATTRACTION ARE MUCH MORE COMPLICATED AND PROFOUND THEN MEETS THE EYE. People continue to say this on the forum and those that are still struggling with the psychological ramifications still continue to defy this. It takes a long time to let this idea sink in, but when you put yourself out there and challenge yourself to love and accept yourself the way God intended for it to be.....AMAZING thing start happening.

Yes, there is TONS more pressure put on women to be great looking....but the truth is that there are tons of men that are looking for long term relationships with a women who is kind, warm, sensitive, and ATTRACTIVE TO THEM....NOT THE WORLD AND THE MODELING INDUSTRY.

I don't need to be a super model.....that's fine iwth me. BUt although yes, I have physical flaws...that cant mean I can't have a great relationship, get married, have beautiful kids and a really fulfilling life that most models and celebrities never even have anyways. Life plays tons of illusions on you and its our challenge to see beyond that.


We live in a world where men are very insecure....yes some even more than women and it's time to stop brooding and start living.


This is what happened to me when I got over the worry and the self pity and startet having a positive attitude and started learning how to love myself and MY BODY:

I have bad skin in many places and dress pretty covered always. Regardless, I have one heck of a boyfriend who's gorgious mind you...he's an engineer but he could make much more modeling and yes he knows....and you know what...he brushed it off when I told him and showed him.

If you get with sleazy people who are looking for a pretty face to trophy about and great sex, then yes you'll be disappointed. BUT if you're looking for a meaningful relationship with someone who will be your best friend and your confidant....somone who respects you and admires you for everything you are and you're not....

then YES IT'S out there waiting for you to get your act together and learn to love yourself so you can actually enjoy life.


People are not as ruthless and materialistic and we want to think. Yes, the world we live in is......billboards, magazines, videos, TV, yada yada don'ts have souls.....WE DO...SO let's start to spend a little more time developing that.


OH....and one more thing from somene who has had very low self confidence but seems to attract guys pretty easily. CONFIDENCE and a down to earth attitude mean so much more than I can articulate. There are tons of bad looking girls out there who never go without a date..why? Because confidence means so much. Confidence is Sexy.....attitude is a turn on or a turn off.


Believe me turquiose...I wish I had kp only where you have it , but I have lived to tell it like it is.

Hope this helps and people start to think about these things. Next time you see a couple where one is really great looking and the ohter is ordinary or bad looking remember what I said....attraction is much more profound than we'd like to think....and it takes just as much working on our character and souls, more if you ask me, as it does on our bodies.


Daze =)

No one chooses to be ridiculed in public because of KP. People point, stare, ask what is wrong with your skin. Or they just recoil with a disgusted look, or get that "other" look, which is worried about whether you are contagious. Plenty of people have been dumped because of KP; that is clear from the Women's Issues board. And of course, kids are merciless. We don't even need to go there.
Many people have KP from childhood onward, and it is very difficult to repair self esteem once it has been damaged in youth. Skin diseases are notoriously damaging in this regard and even doctors and dermatologists understand and respect that for the most part.

I'm glad for you that you have had success and managed to have an ok life despite KP, but not everyone can be you, and it is not their fault. They should not be blamed because they are "negative thinkers." Many people have no social support, no resources, no family or loved ones to help them build a positive image of themselves. Some have never had anyone to support them and have only gotten criticism, even from family. That is not their fault either. They are at a real disadvantage and often just do not have the strength or the ability to try to improve their lives.
And of course, there are people who have other medical problems and additional skin diseases, not to mention the psychological disorders that KP causes like depression, social anxiety, and OCD. Especially the people with KPRF - their lives are full of anxiety. Having to deal with all of the normal stresses of life, *and* these issues, and come out with any sanity or self esteem, is more than many people are capable of.
It would be nice if everyone could be the same and just *choose* to feel better, but it just does not work that way.

We all have different struggles in life and KP is just one part of them. I would suggest that people take a walk in someone else's shoes before labeling and blaming him for a being negative thinker, just because he can't be like someone else. There is a reason that some people can barely manage their lives and keep their heads above water. It's easy to pass judgement when you don't know what people's lives are really like. (If you did, I don't think you'd want to trade places. )

I have gotten around 300 emails from people with KP, and some of them have no self esteem and nothing in life and only hope keeps them going. They have been broken by this disease; because of it they are unable to cope with the stressors of daily life. Or sometimes they have had tragic beginnings, and then this disease comes along and pounds them into the ground.
Sometimes I think, if only he had a good family and people around him who loved him, he could have a self worth and maybe have the confidence to try to improve his life, but it just isn't there.
And people have their "fix" that they think everyone else can do just like them and be happy, whether it is find love, find God, like everything would be fine if everyone could just be the same religion.
God has sold plenty of KP victims up the river; obviously you weren't one of them and so have been able to make that work for you.

I didn't mean in any any way for what I said to be taken lightly like i'm blowing you and everyone else off. You are an amazingly kind person who has helped me so much and this is all what I believe I could try to give back in return to whoever could take a little hope out of it.

I agree 150% with everything you said....especially about having a personal support system to give someone some self worth. Yes, there are many people that have had it much harder than I when in comes to that. If i didn't have family this condition would take a huge bite out of me and never let go.

I'm definitely not saying....oh just get over it and start thinking positive. It really is not the way to give advice to people who have been thru so much and have had to deal with all the injustice that kp causes. But I'm all the way here at home and I can't be there for everyone and help them with their lives and give every person destroyed by kp the individual support and self worth they deserve. I wish I could....you can't believe how much i wish I could....but that's not a practical goal and I need to work on myself a lot more before I can give anybody advice on self worth and self-love cause I still have worry attacks every now and then and wonder why anyone would want to be with me.

But I wrote the post and thought to myself....how would you feel if you rewind 2 or 3 years ago and read this post.......and I resolved that I would feel hopeful if nothing else. We need to vent, yes!!!! But in between all that, when we read a post or two about people who have severe conditions and have miraciously found some peace and joy in their lives despite this aweful condition that still weighs them down.....and have managed to have relationhsips....then it gives people a glimmer of hope. And that's what people need first and foremost before the treatments...hope so that they can patiently approach the next best treatment option.


I hope this clarifies things and I'm sorry if I sounded like I could render any judgement on other people's problems and battles in life. I have two cousins who because their parents were first cousins and married long ago when people were ignorant and didn't know that inbreeding causes genetic diseases are now (after 27 years of being perfectly healthy) hanicapped and can not move their legs at all and barely barely their arms. It's a muscular dysthrophy...your muscles literally slow down and stop working. Funny thing is...my parents are also first cousins and we're all part of the same family. I acknowledge that I am not one to judge anyone else's battles, but only appreciate that I have the ability to walk, work, play, and most importantly give to others without any physical limitations.

I read my original post again....and although I had good intentions and wanted to just give some wholesome encouragement and hope...it came off kindda rude, insensitive, and abrasive. I'm sorry about that....again I really hope the post above explains because I really am so very grateful to you and everyone else on the forum for all the ways they have given me advice and helped me battle this one day at a time.

Sincerely,
Daze

stop ****ing lying to urselfs ppl!!
sun tanning doesn't cause cancer except if its too much
but kp only needs a max of three times of tanning on the beach not the stupid beds
and kp will be gone and when kp starts to show up again it will be much less than before tanning!! Believe me ppl!!

Your argument is completely fallacious. You might as well argue that it is only an excess of cigarettes that can cause lung cancer.

Tanning, whether from natural sources or from sun beds, has been proven to cause skin cancer. That is a fact. If you have some new evidence to suggest otherwise then perhaps you'd care to share it with us?

Why should we believe you when your posts suggest that you are a fool who encourages others to take actions that could possibly kill them?